Contact Info / Websites

Entry #1

Do you want to know why you're still a virgin?

2008-09-24 00:07:04 by cherries
Updated

1. You browse newgrounds.
2. You're a fat pig-disgusting slob.
3. You don't shower daily.
4. You don't use deodorant.
5. You brush your teeth three times or less a week.
6. You are ashamed of your below average sized penis which causes you to distance yourself from the opposite sex.
7. You have no REAL social skills, in a conversation you bring up the weather and your school classes because you have nothing else to say, which brings us to 8.
8. You're uninteresting, not special in anyway, and you have no hobbies(besides newgrounds BBS of course).
9. You have absolutely NO taste in music, some of your favorite bands are Linkin Park, Plain White T's, Slipknot, Flobots, etc.
10. You have no rhythm.
11. You can't dance(see 10, related to: 8).
12. You argue about 360 versus PS3, Mac versus Windows, and other gay nerd shit.
13. You wait anxiously every day to deposit 10 imaginary experience points that equal to no real life merit.

All these facts apply to every single user of newgrounds.com(excluding myself of course), all facts are 100% truthful no matter what. If you decide to comment saying that one or more facts do not apply to yourself, you are proving to the world that you are:
A. a massive faggot,
B. a newgrounder(laugh out loud),
C. someone who enjoys self-inflicted pain,
and D. a virgin.

Pictured below is the face, and body of every single newgrounds user(excluding myself teehee you almost got me faggot).
If you are still unconvinced of your own virginity, please, take a look at this formula:
VirginityProbability = TimeSpentOnNewgrounds/PreviousSexualEn counters

Anyone have suggestions to add to the list?
: *JeremysFilms is better than you.

Do you want to know why you're still a virgin?


Comments

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FawxFawx

2008-09-24 00:19:21

OMG YOU'RE SO RIGHT.


deevvondeevvon

2008-09-24 00:21:36

Who is that in the picture? Haha.


kenny6kenny6

2008-09-24 00:23:18

huh????......what's wrong with flobots? >:


junipejunipe

2008-09-24 00:25:33

you waste all of your time coming onto newgrounds trying to annoy us in immature ways like this. i think you fit perfectly under what your trying to label us as

P.S. the kitty krew is dead just close this account and end your miserable pointless life. and try to leave your house for once and find some friends who don't wear skin tight jeans and cut them selves, it also might help if you stop doing that to.


RoaltyxRoaltyx

2008-09-24 00:33:24

When i see photographic proof, i'll believe that you aren't one of us..


FrozenFireFrozenFire

2008-09-24 00:41:44

Wow I am like every single one of those.. but you forgot Narutard. I am a definite Narutard, I vote 5 on any Naruto movie I see.

Anyway good job summarizing me, I feel like you've known me all along.


eyereconeyerecon

2008-09-24 00:42:50

I think its goood to be a 13 year old virgin u man whore


KevinKevin

2008-09-24 00:49:44

only 1 and 11 apply to me :D

although if you reeeealy try you can say more about me.


RammerRammer

2008-09-24 00:58:01

I CAN'T DANCE AND I'M A VIRGIN

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

D:


QuarlQuarl

2008-09-24 00:59:01

Add hypocrisy to the list. I know I suffer from it :D


HLGHLG

2008-09-24 01:51:24

it was pretty accurate up until #2


WAaAzZAaAWAaAzZAaA

2008-09-24 01:53:21

take me now! o wait..


New-MilkmanNew-Milkman

2008-09-24 01:55:08

VirginityProbability = TimeSpentOnNewgrounds/PreviousSexualE n counters

Something is wrong when some people are dividing by zero.


Mimzy13Mimzy13

2008-09-24 02:26:57

lol, girls can't have all of those, for example 6.

But this is hilarious, good job :-)


KoLdBLooDKoLdBLooD

2008-09-24 02:50:23

Do you have to have ALL of those to be a virgin?

Cause I'm pretty sure I put my penis in a girls vagina before. =]

points that apply to me. 1.... and 11.

Well I don't have anysuggestions to add to the list, maybe you should make an anti virgin list. eg. "learn to dance, good personal hygene, dont talk about geek things infront of REAL people, etc."

Also buy a Metal gear awsome shirt, those things are garanteed to getyou laid. (lolwut)


killer7rkiller7r

2008-09-24 03:07:23

did u finally figure out how to take pictures of urself with a webcam


parttimeninjaincparttimeninjainc

2008-09-24 03:58:39

I have a suggestion to add to the list.

13. If you feel the need to make a post on Newgrounds listing the reasons every single Newgrounds user (excluding yourself, of course) is a virgin.


Sektor-ZSektor-Z

2008-09-24 07:56:41

That's tough, but why didn't you answer to what Roaltyx, killer7r and parttimeninjainc wrote? Was it too much?


Sektor-ZSektor-Z

2008-09-24 08:01:31

Right, add 69. When you register in a website where supposably only losers hang out just so you can think you're better than all. This is a place for Flash movies, not coolness, or smartness (you're an example), so make a movie instead and beat those "losers"? Cause everyone can talk, like you do. That's easy and means nothing really.


Simple-lineSimple-line

2008-09-24 08:25:30

VirginityProbability = TimeSpentOnNewgrounds/PreviousSexualE n counters= 3

it works ! (y)


JPGarciaJPGarcia

2008-09-24 09:22:45

Age/Gender: 80, Female
Location: GUTROT

I SUCK DICK N***A

you... you a re sick.


DikkopStudiosDikkopStudios

2008-09-24 10:08:30

I come here cuz I make flash. And I like watching others. I like commenting, voting on others.
Newgrounds is for flash and things around it.
Why did you make this pointless post?


pirtaralpirtaral

2008-09-24 11:11:35

Well I don't know, a lot of the people on Newgrounds DO say that they have had sex and do it all the time. Heck look at some of these comments, they are saying that you are wrong!.
Saying they are not virgins on the internet is obviously true, why would anybody lie here?.


animationking101animationking101

2008-09-24 11:16:17

Wow the kid on the picture is a sexy beast....lool


NhollowWearthONhollowWearthO

2008-09-24 13:08:30

Not one word needs ot be said about how pathetic it is to post shit like this. There are the pot head cartoonist beginning their life in the world of insanity(ME), and then there are the ones who go all out because they have no life, then there are the ones who had an epic failure in life and decide to make a list of why they(YOU) are a virghin. The only one that applies to me is the fact that (actually i dont browse newgrounds)i use it to learn flash and hopefully get beter with each attempt.


HammerGuyHammerGuy

2008-09-24 14:25:54

It's you on the picture isn't it..

Don't feel bad it'll turn out allright... I hope

Wait who am I kidding


CursedKradeCursedKrade

2008-09-24 14:57:30

I'm married...


MeepsterMeepster

2008-10-04 12:56:33

Everyone who argues or says this is gay proves they're on the list.


bioman3warsbioman3wars

2008-10-12 00:44:47

OMG but im not like that!!!


EoD696EoD696

2008-10-12 02:31:43

um, noting the fact that this whole post is a complete spam and utterly pointless, the equation at the end is nonsensical. Just for arguements sake, lets take it and plug in the numbers of a person whose really a virgin...so, here's the equation;

VirginityProbability = TimeSpentOnNewgrounds/PreviousSexualE n counters

So then, a virgin geek of newgrounds would have numbers something like this;

timespent = 12,000,000
previoussexualencounters = 0

then the equation would come out like this

12,000,000 / 0 = 0 = virginity probability

Which means the only people that would have 0 virginity probability are the people who are really virgins...and all the other people would have a much higher virginity probability, especially those with only a few sexual encounters, such as married folks...which makes your whole equation nonsensical, or backwards...really.

To me, this means the only faggot, virgin, geek who doesn't shower everyday and doesn't wear deordorant would be...you, heh. Congrats on exposing yourself, admission is the first step to solving your own problems.

For the record, I'm bored, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this at all.


EoD696EoD696

2008-10-12 02:35:18

On a lighter note, I just realized what that picture is...its a cat, taking a shit in a toilet...thats hilarious, heh.


KrussiKrussi

2008-10-12 02:55:08

Dont use a picture of me! :O


ebunnieebunnie

2008-10-17 16:56:09

Dude your a fucking level 18 newgrounder you obviously spend to much time on this shit
p.s. smoke more ganja


zachary578zachary578

2008-10-17 23:10:54

what the **** is wrong with being a virgin you got me ****** off for making fun of people and i think its a load of ****


zachary578zachary578

2008-10-19 21:34:15

thats it im gonna just arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrr


LARNELLLARNELL

2008-10-20 00:20:24

hell i dont know if its possible but i geuss you could call me a nerd,sort of a secret nerd people think im one of those gansta n***as,but really i like games an all that shit,not that i try to hide it but they just dont pay attention.


theFearXtheFearX

2008-10-20 21:42:48

no wonder your called cherries mr. proactive. :D


HotCakesHotCakes

2008-10-20 23:19:12

anyone that wants some can get it


Outspoken666Outspoken666

2008-10-20 23:24:27

You spend more time on newgrounds then I do buddy.
The fact you go on about how you lost your virginity makes me think your a virgin.
Sex is good but it's not life changing.


PostcountPostcount

2008-10-21 05:08:31

Let me guess - you recently lost your virginity and now feel above everybody else.


ebunnieebunnie

2008-10-29 12:46:16

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GeneralWigglesGeneralWiggles

2008-11-03 08:16:06

They saw him trollin'...

They hatin'...


UGoBooMBooM85UGoBooMBooM85

2008-11-03 08:39:02

"um, noting the fact that this whole post is a complete spam and utterly pointless, the equation at the end is nonsensical. Just for arguements sake, lets take it and plug in the numbers of a person whose really a virgin...so, here's the equation;

VirginityProbability = TimeSpentOnNewgrounds/PreviousSexualE n counters

So then, a virgin geek of newgrounds would have numbers something like this;

timespent = 12,000,000
previoussexualencounters = 0

then the equation would come out like this

12,000,000 / 0 = 0 = virginity probability

Which means the only people that would have 0 virginity probability are the people who are really virgins...and all the other people would have a much higher virginity probability, especially those with only a few sexual encounters, such as married folks...which makes your whole equation nonsensical, or backwards...really.

To me, this means the only faggot, virgin, geek who doesn't shower everyday and doesn't wear deordorant would be...you, heh. Congrats on exposing yourself, admission is the first step to solving your own problems.

For the record, I'm bored, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this at all."

Oct. 12, 2008 | 1:30 PM cherries responds:

"Hey retard you can't divide by zero. Another prime example of newground stupidity."

I just wanted to say, you owned that guy. Ha.

I still think you're a loser though.


super-gerbilsuper-gerbil

2008-11-03 13:19:28

Provide validity of these points and how you don't apply to them
or go fuck yourself.

Also you equation makes no sense:

VirginityProbability = TimeSpentOnNewgrounds / PreviousSexualEncounters

So if someone were to have no sexual encounters then:

0= 1000(example) / 0

If you divide something by zero it equals zero dumbass, go learn some maths.
So having 0 probablity of virginity means they have had sex....
You suck young sir.


MakoSucksMakoSucks

2008-11-03 14:24:59

i think Maddox wants his gimmick back. VOTE ZERO.


toocoo4gggtoocoo4ggg

2008-11-03 23:14:28

you seem to talk like your very smart but i beg to differ a smart person would not post something like this, a smart person would not have a picture of a cat pooping and a smart person would not say he's straight but on his page saying i suck dick
so all of this means
1. you are a faggot in denial
2. you are a racist skinhead
3. you are immature
4.if you did lose your virginity it would be to your cousin or mom
5.you are going to hell and if your an atheist when you become a tree you will be made into paper and have the bible printed on you
6.and you will be attacked by a psychopath who will tear your 3 inch dick off but wont kill you and you live the rest of your life as a freak
I want you to reply please because i want to see your pathetic comeback


toocoo4gggtoocoo4ggg

2008-11-03 23:16:15

and since your such an asshole shouldn't your aura be dark


DerekmcalisterrrDerekmcalisterrr

2008-11-04 00:59:00

well im 15,i usually talk about my school work(but i do have 10-15 things to talk about in just one day and "There goes the crash point"basicly alot of that stuff is true to thouasnads of people...AND I THINK THAT IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!!!AAAHAHAHAAA!i actually never met some random kid where i live that is like that through out those things you said,i'd like to meet one and make him shrivel in shame! XD,oh,oh!put
13:your an obidieant faggot who masturbates to tranny porn all day and never washed your penis ever sense and it smells like cheese EEVVEERRYY DDAAYY!! XDDD


DerekmcalisterrrDerekmcalisterrr

2008-11-04 01:05:10

hey toocoo4egg douche,leave the immatured guy alone,maybe he wants to make a few f**king laughs,whos immature,thats right,YOU ARE,bye the way,if your sooo mature,your skinny dick sucking ASS would'nt be on newgrounds!i adivse you to shut your 1-1/2 dick face up,before your the one who will get your ass hated on newgrounds
1:you don't know if this ghuy has many authors that can ban you from many stuff
2:your power is as week as many other faggy morons like yourself on NG
3:shut your hole and quit using your dick as a brain and use the one in ytour fucking head

is your life depressing or is it just your won't get laid!


stinkniegeitstinkniegeit

2008-11-04 08:56:27

I'm 14 and a virgin, strange....? i don't think so.
you're probably just so frustrated that you're gay yourselve that you have to take it out on people you don't know.