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Do you want to know why you're still a virgin?

2008-09-24 00:07:04 by cherries

1. You browse newgrounds.
2. You're a fat pig-disgusting slob.
3. You don't shower daily.
4. You don't use deodorant.
5. You brush your teeth three times or less a week.
6. You are ashamed of your below average sized penis which causes you to distance yourself from the opposite sex.
7. You have no REAL social skills, in a conversation you bring up the weather and your school classes because you have nothing else to say, which brings us to 8.
8. You're uninteresting, not special in anyway, and you have no hobbies(besides newgrounds BBS of course).
9. You have absolutely NO taste in music, some of your favorite bands are Linkin Park, Plain White T's, Slipknot, Flobots, etc.
10. You have no rhythm.
11. You can't dance(see 10, related to: 8).
12. You argue about 360 versus PS3, Mac versus Windows, and other gay nerd shit.
13. You wait anxiously every day to deposit 10 imaginary experience points that equal to no real life merit.

All these facts apply to every single user of myself of course), all facts are 100% truthful no matter what. If you decide to comment saying that one or more facts do not apply to yourself, you are proving to the world that you are:
A. a massive faggot,
B. a newgrounder(laugh out loud),
C. someone who enjoys self-inflicted pain,
and D. a virgin.

Pictured below is the face, and body of every single newgrounds user(excluding myself teehee you almost got me faggot).
If you are still unconvinced of your own virginity, please, take a look at this formula:
VirginityProbability = TimeSpentOnNewgrounds/PreviousSexualEn counters

Anyone have suggestions to add to the list?
: *JeremysFilms is better than you.

Do you want to know why you're still a virgin?